


Too Far yet Too Close

by Sun_Day



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Betrayal, Custody, F/M, Fame, Infidelity, Motherhood, Multi, Pon Farr, Pregnancy, Romance, Unwilling immigrant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-25 05:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13827570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sun_Day/pseuds/Sun_Day
Summary: One confusing trip, one blurry night, and one physiological breakdown later Maria is a new mother stranded on New Vulcan, watched by her baby's father and his disapproving mother.  She would do anything to get back home except leave her child. But in interplanetary politics and custody battles all is fair.





	1. Chapter 1

Sik glared at Maria from across the room, both motionless. The baby suckled desperately, and Maria looked out far away from both son and father.

“You will not leave, the infant is seventeen days old and space travel would  be hazardous for both.” Sik ordained, hot headed, eartips green, and his robes airy from a slightly quickened walking pace. It was the most emotional she had seen him in months for sure. On the cool floors, she was distanced from his disgruntled breed of tyranny  but unsheltered from its outpouring. 

She was not surprised he knew of her plans, tissue paper maps really, now discolored and undeniably fading. Maria remained expressionless and unhappy. By now she knew better than to openly challenge him.

She looked up at him with soured eyes, “It’s not healthy to sneak behind my back and read my communications with  _ my _ family. On Earth that behavior would be called desperate.”

“And you are not on Earth,” Sik pronounced, standing straighter if it was possible, “And in my family home, your communications are not confidential.”

Maria opened her mouth and then closed it, too indignant to say anything. No, not indignant, too  enraged to refute a truth she already knew to have existed.  Walls, Maria had learned did not respond well to thin human skulls bashing them.  She briefly considered telling Sik she could ask Vulhar to open his communication network to her, but could only imagine how well that would rollover. 

“It was a silly thing to ponder. I have not been myself lately, I apologize,” There, an apology to disarm the Vulcan and allow her to think in peace. What exactly she was apologizing for she had no idea. Any human would sense the quick evasion and suspect only the tip of her plans had been seen.  But Sik was no human, he was not use to human workings, evasions, figures of speech, or thinly veiled plans.  

“If you require a healer-”

“No! No, Sik,it’s a figure of speech. I am just a bit under the weather-” Of course he would fall for it. 

“Your body temperature is expected to be below daytime ambient temperature.  New Vulcan in significantly hotter than Earth. Your body is programmed to sustain three hundred ten fifteen hundreths degrees Kelvin. This is done to preserve homeostatis.”

Maria blinked as she mulled over the numbers, and linked her gaze to him. “Silly me, I must have slept through that lecture on human body temperature in elementary. How did I ever pass?”

“Earth’s education system has notoriously lax testing standards.”

And then, as soon as her eye began to twitch, Sik nodded and tersely left the bed chamber, shutting the door firmly, “Why don’t you lock it too,” Maria called behind him, rolling her eyes when he responded, “illogical”. Both were well aware Sik had ordered the door without a locking mechanism. She waited to hear receding footsteps, annoyed by his near silent footfall. She never knew when he was approaching or leaving without a visual, but after a few moments she settled herself.

Lurking behind his baby mama’s door was illogical. Sik would not stoop... no, he was a busy man, their family bonding time was over, Maria thought with a bitter smile. 

She rubbed her nose on her baby’s warm forehead and covered and tucked him into the folds of her night robes. “Baby, baby, baby,” she cooed, forcefully ignored by the infant. The light on his black hair slipped and played on soft waves and half curls. 

He opened his eyes when a wet drop fell on his little nose and looked up with dark mooning eyes. 

“Do you really need your daddy?” She asked voiceless, aware of Sik’s inhumanly sharp hearing, but made reckless through her fatigue as she asked. She studied his face for clues, and was expectantly disappointed as the baby blinked and closed his eyes again, resuming his suckling with diligence. 

The teardrop slid down over the bump of his nose and into the smushed crescent of his fleshy cheek. She watched the drop travel down and touch her nipple, and it was quickly absorbed into his tender doll mouth. He scrunched up his nose, and fussed, and detached his lips, and let out a tender wail. “Shh, shhh, no,no baby.” She bounced him and rose up, pushing herself from the floor with him in arms. 

“It’s time for bed anyways,” The baby quieted down briefly, too full to grumble much and let himself be burped. Little gas bubbles escaped his lips with half lidded eyes and in minutes his mother laid him down. With a sigh she watched him dutifully, standing guard until his sleep was deep and doubtless. Retreating from the bed she quickly padded to the bathroom, shed her clothes, and started the sonic shower. She stood, arms crossed, protecting her tender breasts.The pulses bullied her rippled stomach and tangled all the hair she had not been able to reach during her pregnancy and hadn’t cared to groom. If there was anything she was thankful for was New Vulcan’s unexistant obsession with mirrors. The lack of vanity tended to work in favor of her current lethargy, however she still did sense the curious and wide eyes on her admittedly unkempt appearance. If she couldn’t take care of herself, she huffed, why would Sik believe she could take care of the baby by herself. 

She snorted, of course she could take care of the baby, Sik had never changed a dirty cloth, or get spit on, or pass a sleepless night with the baby. A shave or a comb through her hair wouldn’t change his attitude or his mother’s for that matter. Getting out of the shower she felt thoroughly arid and sighed at the grimmy luxury. 

Being ‘properly’ civilized never felt so good. 

When she dressed and returned to bed, the baby was in the exact same spot, his little chest rising and falling rapidly as it had always done. She ached to touch him, to touch his little chest to make sure in the dark, but he was sensitive and would cry if she approached with her bitterness and vast discontentment. 

She crawled into bed and stared. 

Time after time, she was cruelly justified as he shied away from his father’s arms who was adamant she did him a great disfavor in coddling him. But Maria saw the unhappy comfort in the child when she held him close yet simultaneously hated herself for treating him to her emotions of despair. 

“I wish I could be happy, but happiness cannot be manufactured or taught by Surak. I am so sorry-” she choked out, leaking tears, and taped her mouth with blankets.  

Her tears stung and batting them away, she scratched an eye with her jagged nails.

“Ay, no,” she moaned and held her hand tight to her eyes. Rage followed the pain and she rubbed her legs in long anger. But she didn’t curse or cry out. The baby would hear. 

And then, there in the silence there was just pain, selfish and megalomaniac like the baby, but bright and eloquent like a star far, far away.

Her heart slowed, and her breaths came in as the tide at night, and she thought about Earth, the moon, rain, humidity, and the gentle white breeze at night. 

Maria blinked her eyes open, “Sik,” he stared at her from her bedside chair. She rubbed her eyes, and quickly turned searching for the baby. There he was, suckling the air, splayed wide on the bed.

“Sik, what do you want? What time is it?”

“I require nothing from you at this time. It is four hundred hours.”

Maria moaned, curling into an arm, peaking at him, “Sik, the baby gets up at six again. I barely just  fell asleep. Why’d you wake me?”

“I did not rouse you,” Sik responded.

There was a silence, a curious understanding, then a bitter thought.  Her mind acknowledged his presence and before consulting _ her _ (a dark crimson figure, a ship refusing to gasp before sinking) awoke her slumber. 

She crossed her legs, refusing to lay down in his presence, too afraid to actually. There was no safety in submission to a woman who has once believed it best to surrender and be spared the worst but instead had come to be consumed by a horror too great to confront and understand. No, not the baby, but her sojourn turned into a captivity beyond her generation. 

Sik’s position, sitting back in the chair, fingers crossed  at ease with himself and unmoving only threatened Maria more. Her foot twitched, and her breath became shallow. Her heart banged her sheen of a shift. 

There she was, a little girl lost in an unending, ocean deep  jungle, treed by a panther which could resume the hunt with an effortless jump. It was too early, the sun but a peach blush for the dark tints to become fully resolute. There was a male, a bed, and infinite combinations to resuscitate the horrors of the heavy dark. 

Sik was apt enough to recognize her fear and disarm the instinct.  “I will not harm you, Maria,” he tried then added, “I will not touch you.” 

And she refused to bend her back but exhaled deeply.  She did not take her eyes off of the dark cloud which was him, and split her attention with ears trained on the baby. 

“Do you mind then,” she looked away from him, pointing her nose at the door. 

“This is my home,”

“And I am the guest. Please.” The tides began to rise in her eyes. The scratch still burned from the night before. 

“It is illogical to conclude your position is that of a guest in this household. You are the mother of my sole child.”

“He is half human.”

“And his half human nature does not discredit his importance in this house,” Sik rebutted sharply. 

“But what if-”

“It is illogical to think about what could have been but was not. He is my son.” 

And at this the child gave a sudden turn, flipping his head and scrunching his face away from his parents. 

“I am exhausted, Sik. Please go. Let me rest a little.” When he remained seated she added, “ He wakes at all unholy hours and feeds, and must be burped, and must be changed, and then cries himself to sleep. Two hours later he does so again. I am tired.”

“Then rest.”

“I require solitude... the baby stays though,” she amended than realized how silly she was to think her baby would be taken away from her. No one wanted to so much as see him. 

“Human mothers need adult socialization. It is not healthy-”

“And since when were you a postnatal mental health expert? I am fine.” She clutched her legs close to her body.

“And I am perfectly capable of investigating the subject at hand to know you require basic elements you are not receiving.”

The discomfort in her eyes became a hot, prickling pain. She took deep breaths to calm herself but failed. 

“I am fine.” She could feel him standing at the edges of her mind like a boy looking into a high window. He was there, and her shame buffeted her as indeed she began to lose control. 

She wasn’t okay, she wasn’t in her right mind half the time, she wasn’t thinking, she wasn’t happy, she wasn’t eating like before, she wasn’t interacting. She was imploding, fragmenting into herself. 

There were no smiles, no chatter, no texts, no books, no hair brushes, no perfume, no new clothes, no songs, nothing. 

She sobbed once, and panicked, whipping around to see if the baby had stirred. His lips were puckered and unhappy but he was otherwise motionless. Stepping down from the bed, she snatched the the jug of water she kept at the bed stand and took a shallow sip, sighing in an almost immediate relief. She had not noticed how thirsty she had been. Now, she decided, she could be a rational human being again. 

But there was a fear, like hot milk before it surges upwards and over the pot, spilling tremendously. She needed Sik out before he saw her truth. Or more than what he had already seen. A few crying fits here and there were excusable around him, especially since she had not had a real one since the baby was born. But if he got a whiff of her instability, of her true mental state, she had no doubt he would throw her in an institution again. Maria credited the establishment as New Vulcan’s most devastating  irresponsibility.

It had been a wide, sand stained stone building, an institution for mentally unstable Vulcans. They had concocted a slightly watered down treatment for humans when Maria had been admitted, and with bafflement she shuffled through twenty four hours a day of Surak, and sensory deprived sessions of meditation, and impossible mental exercises, and bland food, and bland clothes, and she cried the first time she saw the color purple after leaving the place. The numbness did not leave for weeks. 

But now he would take her baby if she were to go. He couldn’t. The baby wasn’t his to take. The baby was hers. Hers alone. Hers to suffer. Hers to watch. Hers to take care of. Hers. 

 

So she blinked then. Reset herself, cleared her throat, wiped her tears with a fierce swipe. “Sik, listen, if you want to spend time with the baby come at a better hour. Honestly, it’s too early and this does not count as interaction if both mother and son are asleep. Granted I am awake but if I stay so more much longer my sleep will suffer.”

“Is it not possible to sleep while I am in the room?”

“Evidently not,” Maria snapped back. “You know where the door is, please, have a little mercy and use it.” 

Persuaded by Maria’s glare, Sik finally stood, “This evening I would like to take you to a popular eatery in the city. I have researched this establishment and although new I have found it conducive to conversation and interaction.

” Maria narrowed her eyes, “How will we take the baby there? Do you have a carseat?”

“Affirmative.”

“Can I feed  the baby there?”

“Yes, the owners are not opposed to breastfeeding although encourage discretion for the sake of other customers.”

Chewing on her lips, Maria looked up at the ceiling. 

“Is it loud?” 

“The owners described the eatery as pleasantly chatty by human standards, and an immersion opportunity for Vulcans”

 

Maria was twitched to smile. “Well, if this place is as you say, I do not think it’s your worst idea. But we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Do you agree to participate in this venture?”

“I do.”

“I will return at sixteen hundred hours. Then we will leave.”

Maria nodded. 

“And,” Sik hesitated, refusing eye contact for a moment and Maria knew exactly what he was going to say but let him squirm and suffer to say it. “The restaurant has a dress code... Casual and presentable best summarizes appropriate attire. If you could...” His eyes flickered to Maria’s black swarm of hair. “Perhaps use a hairstyle appropriate for dinner with an esteemed yet unfamiliarized acquaintance.”

Maria blinked with affronted amusement. “Then return my hair utensils and I will see what I can do.” 

Sik left. Maria lay back down and clutched her hands over her chest. Her eyes flickered over the stuccatto ceiling, tracing little constellations.

She dared not smile, her stomach was too tight for such a thing. But her eyes were warm and shone before the coming sunlight. 

“We’re going out baby,” she whispered to her sleeping child. “Out! And we’re gonna see my combs, and picks, and brushes, and different people, and trees maybe, and human food, and human clothes, and avocados maybe, and cheese, and other babies, and...”

She quieted when he began to squirm. She was surprised when her eyes began to droop, tired despite the excitement.  Her padd pinged, and she scrambled to read a message she had read a hundred times already. “Message could not be sent. Error”. None of her messages ever got through to Earth. Sik received her nasty ones just fine though. 


	2. Chapter 2

By the time a resolute knock tapped her door, Maria had tidied up more than she had in all of her time on New Vulcan. The baby kept his eyes open after eating, and tried to shift his head to follow his mother’s movements. He had such a round, heavy melonhead. He whimpered when he bounced his face on the bed.  His little fingernails gripped and slipped on the sheets and he began to whine. 

“Hey, hey, I’ll be there, baby.” Maria turned back to her reflection in the mirror. Penciling in her brows with a charred incense stick, Maria peered into the glass. Anymore of the black dust and her face would have looked like an amateaur charcoal sketch. 

She trotted to the door as the knocking continued and flung it open, blinking seeing T’vel signing. Crouching, Maria waved quickly and placing the incense stick between her teeth signed hello as T’vel simultaneously continued to sign.

Maria felt she might as well have been looking at a computer screensaver, like the one from the Museum of Ancient Technology in Boston, with its swirling, turning colors. 

“Hmm-” Maria nodded, smiled, “I’ll be right there,” turned and got the baby, flicking away the stick and stepped out to meet  her mother in law with a refreshing flourish. 

T’vel glared, her expression unchanged but the air angry around her. But for a reason that did not evade her entirely, Maria walked efficiently towards the kitchen. The rising morning was just even more yellow than normal. She paused suddenly when she confused the  T’Vysse’s tea with her grandmother’s. And the dry climate whispered dewy dawn mint nothings in her nose. And as Maria rounded the corner, she could have sworn to have smelled the earth of drums and aluminum of radio waves. 

T’vel caught up with her and sat across from her grandmother, T’Vysse. 

“Good morning, T’Vysse,” Maria beamed, “I haven’t seen such a beautiful morning in months. How are you, T’Vysse?”  

“I remind you of proper behavior during the first meal. You will show the Ta’al and will speak only when spoken to.”

Maria smiled even brighter, if only she had floodlights for teeth. “Apologizes.” 

_ Be good, be good, be good, before T’Vysse complains to Sik and you never leave the house.  _

Shifting the baby’s large heavy head, she sipped the customary  bitter tea, noting the white residue at the bottom of her cup. The liquid traveling down her throat like sandpaper and immediately her mind settling under a numbing tingle. 

The daily drugs had been agreed upon as a condition for her discharge from the Institute of Neural Imbalances and Diseases. T’Vysse’s administration of the medication, however, was a result of Maria  _ forgetting  _ to take them... once a day.  

Placing the heavier than bricks mug down, T’Vysse refilled it and Maria could only stare, sinking in the grey slough. The baby was taken from her arms, but Maria’s head hung heavy like a wrecking ball. 

_ It isn’t this bad... usually.   _ Maria tried to equate the experience to any other, but it felt like her neurons were coated in molasses. 

“As customary, the nausea will pass.” And suddenly Maria was gagging, tears swimming on the table. 

“Per the Doctor Skol’s recommendation you should take this time to meditate. Proper meditation can stave off nausea.” 

At the end of her arm, Maria found her middle finger and raised it. “If you cannot control your behavior you will be restained.”

_ Bitch. _

So heavy was her head upon her shoulders, Maria had no choice but to lay rest her head on the table and grip the edge as gravity spun her around and crushed her simultaneously. 

“There was a power outage in T’vel’s school today and it will not open its doors until power is restablished. She will stay here until then, and summon a transport vehicle when notified the school reopens. She will not attempt to communicate with you unless there is an emergency. I strongly encourage you to do the same. T’vel yet has studies to attend to.

“Professor Maun of the New Vulcanian University of Law suffered an accident yesterday and I of course was the obvious substitute.” The baby started to whimper somewhere. “Therefor in preparation for the subsequent lectures, I did not have ample time to dissuade my son from ‘taking you out’ as he so colloquially expressed, an illogical plan due to your callow nature.

“I have considered advising you on proper etiquette when in public, but as a Vulcan I am opposed to illogical expenditures of time and energy.”

_ So what are you doing now, hag? _

“My son will see the error in his ways soon after departing with you.”

_ What are you trying to do, pull reverse phycology on me? And if you’re not, you’re a terrible person for wanting to see me fail. I bet Surak would have something to say about this. I am perfectly capable of behaving. I’ll show you. Where’s the baby?  _

“I leave in four point three minutes. Make yourself breakfast with the generator. Do not attempt to use the stove. I will know. Do not pick up the infant for the next fifty seven minutes, your accustomed dosage has been augmented. You will pose more of risk to him during this time.”

On cue, the baby started to bawl. 

T’Vysse continued to talk, something about reducing physical touch...blah blah blah, baby might develop unadjusted... emotions bad, blah, blah. Maria melted into a muffled haze, everything dark and the world far off. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Blinking with a tremendous headache, Maria moaned “Wh-where,”  Feeling exhausted she became aware of the drool cooling on her cheek. A hand at her shoulder stirred her. She looked up to see T’vel holding the baby who extended his little fingers and grabbed at her with glimmering eyes. The house was silent. From outside she could hear the shh of a vehicle engine. 

“T’Vysse?”

T’vel pointed her nose towards the door. “Gone?” T’vel nodded and stepped forward. She seemed to be gaging Maria. “Your transport for school is here?” T’vel nodded. “Okay,” Maria attempted to step off the chair and toppled forward. T’vel’s bare shoulder caught Maria’s nose just on time, and baby looking over T’vel’s other shoulder started to whine. 

Maria swore under her breath and gasped with exertion. Using T’vel as a post, Maria carefully crumpled to the floor. T’vel peered down with widened eyes. “Just give me the baby. We’ll be fine, promise.” T’vel deposited the now screaming baby on Maria’s chest. Nodding, T’vel flashed the Ta’al and quickly left the house.  

Alone. “Oh baby, what a mess of a life.” His little nose rooted in search of a breast. “You’re not getting any right now, little boy.” 

Maria shifted him down towards her stomach. She didn’t know the time, but figured by the time the baby worked his way up her stomach she would be ready to get up. 

The drugs, Maria had been informed, were safe for humans including nursing women, and would allow her safely adjust of life on New Vulcan, adjust to the coming baby, adjust to motherhood, adjust to breastfeeding during the obstetrician's suggested timeframe.  

Maria had been also informed that the obstetrician had signed off and approved on the medication. Maria had also been informed that if she slapped the obstetrician she would be put physiological warning and if she lunged at the psychiatrist she would be immediately remitted. Maria did not get out of the ward that month, but to be honest after sitting next to T’Vysse in the head psychiatrist’s office she hadn’t minded the second round of Surak and solitary meditation as much. 

Maria was not quite sure if the medication affected her son, but she did know that for the better part of her pregnancy she had been on them and there was something just... the baby was born fine... just sometimes a little twitchy... but there was no use taking her paranoid and uninformed opinions over that of a trained obstetrician . 

“But baby, when I get up you’re getting your supplemental formula.” Sometimes, Maria wondered if the baby secretly understood her, especially when he began to whine right after Maria announced his lackluster formula. A half an hour later, Maria finally felt well enough to  shift the baby to her feet and pulled up. “Hello!” 

The baby blinked in unamused confusion. He hadn’t begun shrieking for food yet, but he was close. She slowly lay back again and before she heard him sniffling she pulled herself up, “Hello!” He began to grumble. “Fine, formula first, sit ups next.” 

Cradling him, she made the milk, and noticed a toiletry bag on the table she had not seen in months. Sitting down and making herself comfortable with the baby who focused on his milk, she quickly spilled everything onto the table. Combs, picks, a banana bread recipe, tweezers (actually on closer inspection the ends had been removed rendering them useless), at least twenty bobby pins, hair ties, and two head wraps,  but a couple items were outright missing.

When she had arrived the same happened with her luggage. She immediately noticed someone had been through her stuff when she found her clothes immaculately folded and sectioned by type. Belts were mysteriously missing as well as the wire inserts from her bras. 

She decided to leave the items alone for a while  and get comfortable with the baby. He was far off from being able to hold the bottle preferring to stare into Maria’s eyes.  So she decided to take him to the bedroom. 

Making her way to the bed, within seconds she spotted a message carefully transcribed in a language that shocked her. Not even close to the  predecessors of Federation Standard. Reading and rereading the message twice, Maria guffawed. T’vel had written the message in neat small letters in  a language which puzzled Maria yet was somehow still readable.  _ Via medikamento estis draste pliigita. _ The crafty girl had used the charred incense stick and written on the floor of all places in a language certainly  no one knew in the household, yet Maria understood. For T’vel, getting caught... Maria did not even want to think of the consequences T’Vysse would unleash. 

Guilt pummeled her, Maria had never even tried to understand Vulcan sign language and instinctively knew that probably few people  actually understand T’vel.

It was not a far cry to imagine T’vel was one of the few with her condition. The vast majority of  medical defects were medically repairable but if T’vel was still incapable of hearing and speaking (Maria did not actually know which it was) there was a high probability the orphan’s only mode of communication was signing. 

_ You will learn to communicate with T’vel. Even if it kills you. _ Maria though grimmly remembering the swirling mess of gestures and symbols T’vel communicated with. There was art to it, but to Maria no two symbols ever looked the same. T’vel did most of her communicating with her PADD, but of course all the PADDs were synced up to the same  in-home network and viewable to Sik and his mother. Inconvenient did not start to describe the devices. Quickly throwing a pillow on the floor, Maria smothered the letters. 

___________________________________________________________________________________

The little things could get Maria in an inexplicable good mood. For example, when Maria first arrived on New Vulcan when Sik said they would depart at six for an appointment he would actually show up at six and expect her to be waiting at the door. As if.  _ I ain’t no dog.  _

What Maria had learned is that though Vulcans did take some time to adapt, eventually they learned. So when Sik messaged her two hours before, reiterating the time and his expectations, Maria couldn’t help but smile. Not that she could have possible forgotten. Maria hadn’t actually left the house for more than doctor’s appointments or her stay at the psych ward ever. Not even clothes. When Maria got too big for her earth clothes, T’Vysse mysteriously appeared with oversized drapes. 

T’Vysse told Maria they were modeled after the traditional clothes of a human woman “squandering her meager mental faculties under the guise of keeping a house”.  

Anyways, although unnecessary Sik pulled up his vehicle fifteen minutes early.  About an hour prior to the time, made up, pinned up, and dressed up, Maria brought a chair to the front door and had settled to look out the window. Maria even found the car seat, unboxed it,  and strapped the baby in, a situation he did not seem to have an opinion about. 

But she couldn’t look so desperate, so Maria fished out a tome called Vulcan language and logic in Vuhlkansu. 

“The book you seem so engrossed in is upside down Maria.” Maria blushed crimson looking up at Sik.   

“I was bored of the reading from the same perspective.”

He regarded her, taking in her appearance, “You appear agreeable. Are you prepared to depart?”

“Obviously- to both statements. “

Sik raised a brow, “The latter was a query.”  

Maria rolled her eyes, “Don’t be smart with me, Mr. English Professor.” She stood picking up the carseat with her. “Come on. I am raring to go.”

“There is still a matter to attend to. “ There was a small box in his hand. Maria’s breath caught. “All persons who are yet in warning from the Vulcan Institution for Mentally Unfit and Challenged Individuals must wear this-” he produced a shiny bracelet, “device when in public.”

“What?” Maria observed with incredulity. “But I’m saved- I mean... I follow Surak- I haven’t slapped anyone in forever! Or anything else bad.”

“Present your wrist-”Maria did so unsteadily. “This is for your safety.”

“When are you people going to understand I’m not crazy!” Maria stomped her foot, feeling her blood pump as Sik carefully, without touching her, clasped the bracelet. 

He avoided her eyes and promptly took the baby and headed out to the car. Maria followed, hot on his heels, “Well how to I take this off?” The bracelet was seamless, one second it was open, but around her wrist it seemed to have no start or end.  

“It is not intended for you to be able to take off. Only I am able to remove it. I sense your irritation. Focus your attention elsewhere.” Leaning over the backseat, Maria took stock of the baby. His eyes were closed, but his little brows were pulled tight. Maria had kept him awake as much as she could during the day, and hoped he would sleep through the outing.

“Sit down. Put on your seatbelt. It is unsafe to travel without it.” 

Maria crossed her arms and stared out of the windows as they traveled towards needle towers. 

They arrived to a restaurant on the first floor of a skyscraper called New Vulcan Delights, and Maria rolled her eyes immediately and smiled simultaneously. The cheesiness reminded her of Earth. As they inched towards the valets, Maria anxiously rubbed the door handle. A pulsing touch turned her to Sik whose eyes were serious and apprehensive. 

“Maria, the objective of this evening is to interact cordially with all parties. My expectations have been outlined in the message sent to you at noon. If you succeed in adhering to them, outings will increase, a suitable gain on your part.”

Maria stared out the window with nerves. Mostly Vulcans sat in the glitzy restaurant, and it reminded her of a little kit a misinformed distant relative had once bought Maria of an offworld eatery complete with Vulcans and Andorians that the four year old Maria chewed the ears and antenna off of. Quickly enough, Maria caught the eye of a blonde lady with the traditional haircut and Vulcan attire. 

“Sik, who’s that looking at me.” They exited the car. 

“I believe her to be one of the proprietors of this restaurant, Ms.Gaphy.” Sik took the baby from the car and handed the keys to the valet. 

There was a glint in the lady’s eye as she approached. “She doesn’t like me.” Maria whispered. 

“I fail to see why Mrs.Gaphy would be opposed to you before meeting you.” 

Ms.Gaphy extended the Ta’al making uninterrupted eye contact with Sik. “Good evening. Sik with wife and child?” 

Maria raised a brow as she scrutinized first Mrs.Gaphy and then Sik.

“Oh, forgive me. I have been on New Vulcan so long I forget my human manners.” She extend a slim hand. “I am Ms.Gaphy. But you can call me, Cassidy What’s your name?”

Maria smiled, “Maria. But you can call me Sik’s baby momma.” Gaphy’s wince was well controlled, but the Maria saw the reflex deep within her eye.

Sik inhaled sharply. “Maria and I are not married by Earth’s conventional-”

“Baby, Cassidy doesn’t have to know all our mystery.” Maria bumped him softly with a wink.

“I am one hundred thirteen years old, hardly an infant. However, I concur with the following statement. It is not my prerogative to explain-”

“Our seating arrangement,” Maria cut in delicately, blinking at Sik with her most interested smile. 

“Yes, please, follow me.”

This evening was going to be a well behaved blast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I had no idea it would take me this long to get around to writing this chapter. I honestly thought there would have been more action so to speak, but anyways I hope y'all like it. Please comment! I would love to know what y'all think!


	3. Dangers of Going Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maria goes out with Sik, but before endures the wrath of her mother-in-law.

Maria twiddled and hummed under her breath to keep herself from throwing her plate at Mrs.Gaphy when she asked how their meals were.

“Although here in New Vulcan it’s not customary to inquire-”

“Lady, I know were I am,” Maria snapped.

Out of the corner of her eye, Maria saw patrons turn to stare, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

“Maria,” Sik hissed. “If anyone, you should understand human manners of speech. Mrs.Gaphy did not insult your intellect.”

Called out for her shallow attempt to patronize the woman, Maria’s eyes narrowed to slits and she blushed simultaneously. Smiling she turned to Mrs.Gaphy, “I apologize Mrs.Gaphy, if you were to inquire about the state of our meal, I speak for both of us, dinner was absolutely delicious.”

Mrs.Gaphy glared at her behind a controlled smile, “Excellent! Would you like to try dessert? The apple pie is excellent.”

“Can we, honey?” Maria asked sweetly, but in her mind screamed no and locked eyes with Sik. _No, no, no. Please_ _say no!_

Sik looked at Maria curiously and studied her carefully. A delicate strumming sensation tickled Maria’s mind, like a far of voice of the subconscious. Maria blinked in shock.

“Sik, please can we stay for dessert?” she asked, repeating her mental plea.

Mrs.Gaphy smiled pleasantly, “Of course without sugar or chocolate.”

 _Please, no._ Maria pulsed through the bond.

“Negative, Maria,” Sik finally declared, “Perhaps another time. Mrs.Gaphy, dinner was adequate however Maria has duties to attend to in our home.”

Maria couldn’t hold in her surprised snort, “Ehh, sorry, something in my throat. Sincerely, Sik, this one time can’t we get dessert?”

“Negative, and I will not repeat myself. The temperature is rapidly falling and is apparent your body cannot adequately respond to the change in temperature. It is expected the temperature will only continue decreasing for the duration of the night.”

Outwardly chastised, Maria surrendered to Sik’s will. She gathered the baby with doting tenderness, giving Sik the most loving look, while peaking to see if Mrs.Gaphy noticed. Maria could feel the scathing heat of Mrs.Gaphy’s projections on her back. Determined to leave without making a scene that would bar her from further excursions, Maria offered to wait in the car as Sik settled the bill.

 

As they pulled out of the city, for some reason, Maria felt anxious and ready to pounce, as if she were a compressed spring, pushed down by Mrs.Gaphy, the terrible restaurant, and the looming pressure to remain calm throughout the night. The old hag had been nothing but passively nasty the entire time, but so slick with it, Maria was sure Sik hadn’t noticed any of it.

Mrs.Gaphy brought back Earth to Maria, reminding her of a rude sales associate, prickly, but never so nasty as to lose a commission. Being mean, rude, and judgmental, but never too much was an art form Maria remembered. An art she had been quite adroit in but after being saved by Surok, Maria was growing rusty.

Part of her envied Mrs.Gaphy’s abject rudeness as she attempted to stand behind Maria and quietly read the menu options written in Vulcansu. Who was Mrs.Gaphy to assume Maria could not read anything but the pictures on the menu? Granted it was true, but… anyways, Maria only kept up with Mrs.Gaphy’s patronizing attitude in hopes that the _vegan_ mac and cheese was worth it. It wasn’t.

Back on Earth, certainly by now Maria would have beenin a state of serenity only slightly sullied by bruised knuckles to show for her hard earned relaxation. As they pulled out of the city, Maria’s mind raced, “Did that witch give you here number?”

Sik looked to Maria curiously, and hesitated to respond quickly, “If you are referring to Mrs.Gaphy as a mythological creature, then yes. Mrs.Gaphy insisted I should have a paper copy of her restaurant’s number. On the back-”

“Give it to me,” Maria demanded, and snatched it out of his hand. Instantly, she saw the neat personal number on the back.

“Sik,” Maria said in a lowered tone, “Could you please pull the car over?”

“Negative-”

“Please, Sik, I am feeling unwell.” Cautiously, Sik turned on his turn lights and pulled off the side of the road.”

“What maladies you?”

Sheer force of will kept Maria from rolling her eyes, “Do I look like a doctor? No, don’t answer that. I lied, I know exactly what’s wrong with me, and I know the exact cure. I am currently suffering from _Immacatchthattrifflinghoeoutsideititis_ , and the exact cure is slapping the-. No, I’m a pacifist now. The cure for my condition involves you turning the car around and giving me exactly thirty seconds to return this card to Mrs.Idon’tgotaman.”

“Negative, I will research your proposed condition when we get home, unless it poses an immediate threat to your physical health. I surmise it does not. Your past actions have proven that given the opportunity you will physically attack the source of your frustration. We will not return now or in the foreseeable future.” Maria tensed, and opened her mouth to make her case when Sik added, “to Mrs.Gaphy’s particular eatery.”

Maria puffed, fingering the crisp card. “Good, the food was an insult to human gastronomy.”

“Your opinion contrasts with the reviews of many patrons of the restaurant.”

“Of course, she probably spit in my food, and wrote the reviews herself. What did you think of the food?”

“It was adequate.”

“Don’t mess with me, Sik. What is adequate? Bad, atrocious, disgusting?”

“The range of descriptions provided is inadequate, however I will humor you. The particular selections I chose were not prepared with traditional specifications.”

Maria was momentarily pacified. Glancing back at the baby, he was asleep as he had been for the majority of the dinner. He’d wake up ravishingly hungry in a few minutes and Maria’s breasts ached in expectancy.

In his sleep, he wore the most serious little expression and he clamped his little hands with determination.

“Maria,” Sik called her attention back, “I believe at the restaurant I sensed you reach out through our bond.”

Maria glared out the car window, “Meditation is in order to examine this bond.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Lying is illogical, Maria, especially when the evidence is so explicit.” On cue, Maria felt the tendrils of an alien touch, somewhere deep in her subconscious caressing yet distant.

“Joint meditation would be beneficial for both of us.”

“Sik, you’re not going to enter my mind! I won’t stand for your mental meddling.”

Sik’s stoic countenance trembled briefly and Maria swore his hands had not been as tight on the steering wheel as they were now.

Carefully, Maria was attuned to the bond, listening, observing it internally but refusing to get too close. But the touch she had felt before was absent as it had never existed.

She snuck Sik a look, guilty of the jab on her part, but also angrily justified. Her heart constricted in sorrow. Tears bothered her eyes, and for a moment there was nothing she wanted than to extend an olive branch only to pull Sik into a hug. But such thoughts were illogical. Physical touch was the last thing she could possibly give Sik. But who did she have on New Vulcan? Who could possibly understand her, comfort her, sooth her beside her captor?

“Sik, I apologize.” _But for what, Maria?_ “I don’t think tonight would be a good time to meditate. When we get home, the baby will be awake and hungry. I’ll have to take care of him.”

“Our son is named Stoll,”

“Which is about as pleasant to say as gargling rocks.”

Sik refused to respond.

“Thank you though, for taking me out,” Maria whispered sincerely, though her cheeks burned with the admission. “It was refreshing despite the… I would love to do this more.”

Pushing sincerity through her mind, Sik looked away from the road for a moment to catch her eye before refocusing his attention.

“Sik, do you remember when my next doctor’s appointment is?”

“Your next appointment with doctor V’tell is in four days,”

Hearing the doctor’s name, Maria felt as if someone hit her head with a mallet. “Not that one. The up-here doctor, and not Dr.Skol either,” Maria tapped her head, “Dr. Vulhar. I want to know why he upped my dosage if I am doing just fine.”

“Your dosage has not been changed. Why do-”

“Your mother, this morning told me my dosage had been increased.” Maria quipped.

Sik frowned, “Have you experienced adverse affects to the increase?”

Maria fiddled with her hands, “Well, just the usual. I felt nauseated, tired, bit of vertigo.”

Looking out the window, Maria asked, “Will you be angry… if I tell you everything?”

Sik, glanced at her quickly. “Negative.”

“I passed out on the counter-”

“And Stoll?”

“Your mother or T’vel took him. And when your mother left, T’vel took him. And when she had to go I tried to get up but fell. So T’vel put the baby on my stomach, and when I was able, I made him his formula. I just think that dosage is too strong for me.”

“I will speak to my mother, and contact both Dr.Skol and Dr.Vulhar on the matter.”

“Why don’t you just ask Dr.Vulhar right now?” Maria asked as they pulled into the house. Behind it, the doctor’s blond head appeared over the fence.

“Absolutely not!”

Too late, Maria swung out of the car before it came to a full stop and marched to the barrier. She grasped the top of the fence and hopped, calling out the doctor.

“You! Are you trying to leave me comatose?”

“Maria,” behind her hard eyes calmly called her back. “Stoll is in the car.” He’s your kid, it can’t be so hard to pick up a carseat, Maria snapped back but quickly rushed to the car. The baby blinked in shock, as his mother quickly undid him from the seat and plucked him out.

Out of the corner of her eye, Maria saw as the doctor came our from his gardens and conversed with Sik.

Maria entered the house alone, surprised to find it deserted as she peaked into the various rooms. As she suspected, the baby’s patience dried up soon after they arrived home and Maria retired to her rooms to give him her breast. Exhaustion settled into her bones and lazily she watched her child nurse. Wanting to rest her eyes, she caressed the back of his head and drew him closer to assure he would not roll off of her. For good measure, she rubbed his back in little circles once in a while, too lazy to burp him. With time, her surroundings became black and she sank into sleep.

 

Blinking in confusion, Maria stared as Sik attempted to sooth the baby, whose whines were beginning to grow frantic.

“What’s going on?” Her mouth went dry, looking up Sik’s tall and long body holding their tiny son who managed to capture both of their attention.

“I sensed Skoll’s discomfort earlier.”

“Oh.” Maria finally reached for him only to discover a fresh breeze on her exposed breast. “Oops,” she said and yanked her bra and shirt back in place. She looked up to see Sik had merely cocked his head to the side, but his eyes were trained on her chest as he gave her the baby.

“Who’s being fussy tonight,” she cooed, “Who?” The baby let out a significant burp just then and Maria nodded in approval. After changing his nappy, she set him in his bassinet and held her breath as she waited for his reaction. He settled with much more ease than she though possible tonight.

When all was said and done Sik was still in her room. “Yes? Did Vulhar have anything to say in the dosage augmentation?”

“The dosage you incurred this morning is approved for times of high distress where you would need to be subdued.”

“Yeah?” Maria whispered softly. “I felt pretty good this morning.” She peered at him wondering if he would disagree.

“I have spoken to my mother. She had augmented the dosage as a preventative measure.”

Maria couldn't say anything, there was nothing to say to that bull. Instead, she stared deep into Sik’s eyes, pouring her weariness and frank disbelief.

“From now on, your medication regimen will not be altered without dual consensus.”

“Between?”

“My mother and I.”

No sooner were the words out of his lips, Maria rolled her eyes and sank back into the bed.

“Are we done here, Sik? Or are there any other insults to me you’d like to inform me of?”

“These measures are not meant to be of insult-”

“But that’s exactly what they are to me,” Maria spit back. The room was to small for both of them. She felt too close to a burning kettle, Sik. How many decisions had to be made for her. Everything was out of her control! The food she ate, how she dressed, where she could go, if she could even step out into the terrace, when she could go to the doctor’s and for what, her medication, her body… nothing was hers anymore. Not even her compliance, because she knew that asking her permission to do anything to her was a mere formality at this point.

As soon as she felt tears pricking her eyes, she turned her face away from Sik. Desperately, she held her breath, trying to stop sobs from giving her away.

“I can smell the salt from your tears, Maria. If something is the matter, I would suggest you calm down and communicate with me.”

 _What an idiot! Of course there is a problem!_ The anger bubbling up in Maria was squashed into nervousness when she noticed Sik studying her carefully.

“I think the new dosage is messing with my system, I feel exhausted. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?” Maria meekly suggested.

“Affirmative.” And with that Sik was gone as quietly as he had come.


End file.
